A Mom's Worst Nigthmare!

As I was looking at my sweet little girl I noticed her chest wasn't moving and she wasn't breathing. I started to say "Evey breathe" while blowing in her face. I was thinking that she'd gasp and start breathing. After what seemed like hours, her face started to go blue and her lips purple. My heart dropped and I started to panic I ran to the window and pulled it open in hopes that the cool air would make her catch her breath. I don't know what got her breathing but what ever it was, I am truly grateful. As I snuggled my little Evey my body started shaking and I was crying uncontrollably. There is not a worse feeling then helplessly holding your breathless child in your hands. I grabbed my phone to call Dave and the doctor but my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't open the phone. After about 15 minutes Dave finally got home. The doctors office told us to go to ER. Dave got Evey in the car to go to the UofM hospital and I waited until Brett got there to sit with Ez.

When I got to the ER we waited about 20 mins. When we got a room the doctor to talk about their game plan. The painful to-do list consisted of: putting in an IV, putting in a catheter, doing a blood draw, a chest x-ray, and a lumbar punture. As I sat there taking it all in, all I could do was cry. Little did I know I was going to be crying for the next 6 hours. They were starting with the IV, the catheter, and the blood draw. Dave and I waited in the waiting room. Neither one of us could bear watching our little girl go through so much. As we sat I just cried and thought "what if she didn't start breathing, what would I have done?" I have never in my life ever felt so helpless.

When we went back into Evey's room it was about midnight. We decided that one of us needed to go home and get some sleep because we were going to be here for at least 48 hours. (It takes 48 hours to get results from the spinal tap.) Because I was nursing, Dave ended up going home. After he left I just sat and snuggled Evey. I had so many emotions running through my body.

At about 12:30 2 doctors and 2 nurses came in to do the dreaded spinal tap. I obviously couldn't watch, so I went and waited. I cried the whole time they were in there. I felt pretty alone, and very overwhelmed with everything that was going on. The sweet doctor came to tell me they were done and gave me a very needed hug. I couldn't help but cry some more. (There was a lot of crying that night.) When I went in to see Evey her little eyes were red and swollen from crying. I kept thinking to my self, why does my little 11 day old baby need to go through all of this? Poor little thing.

I just sat and held my little girl and prayed that everything would work out. I can't handle seeing my kids in pain and here I am watching them do every test imaginable on Evey. As I waited for some of the results they had us do some breathing treatments. She was doing much better and her oxygen became more stable.

2:30am rolled around and a Xray Tech came in to do the chest xray. This time I had to go. I thought that I've seen it all, but I was way off. They took Evey from me and started strapping her up to a metal board with a peg sticking out. The peg went between her legs (so she was sitting on it.) They then strapped her torso to the board, pulled her arms up above her head and strapped them down. Then finally they ran a plastic strip under her chin so they could see her neck. As you can imagine, this was not comfortable and she was letting us all know. I stood in the corner and just cried. Really how could they stand doing this to a tiny little baby. I know they were just doing their job and Evey was probably just cold, but a mom is not supposed to see those kind of things.

Around 3:30 I texted Dave with an update and went back to our room (in the ER, the beds were all in the Children's Hospital.) I tried to get some sleep but as soon as I was getting a little comfortable an alarm would sound or I'd start crying again. Finally at about 5:30 I was able to fall asleep until about 9:00 When Evey decided to eat again. I went back to sleep until Dave got to the hospital.

After all the test results came back, the verdict was RSV. We ended up staying in the hospital for 6 days and 6 nights. We couldn't leave until she could get off the oxygen. She would have to keep her oxygen level up and her heart rate down. They attempted 4 times before they successfully got her breathing on her own. After observing for 24 hours we were able to go home.

During all this I stayed at the hospital missing my boys more then anything and constantly praying lil' Evey would be ok. Dave and Ezra came to visit at least once a day. Ez was always concerned about "baby sisser" and asking if we were coming home. He really is a sweet boy. Dave did the stay at home dad routine while going to school. He did an awesome job taking care of the 3 of us all while he was going to school. What a stud.

We do want to say THANK YOU to all of you have helped during the last 3 weeks. We felt so much love and support not to mention the prayers that were said in our behalf. We have been blessed with the most amazing family and friends. Thank you!

Little Evey hooked up on both her feet. The IV on her right arm (with the plastic cast.) 4 monitors on her chest and belly. And her oxygen. What a trooper.

Sweet Evey sleeping.

Ez and Dad up for a visit.

How we spent a lot of our week.

Ez listening to Daddy's heart.

Finally going home!